My New Prayer

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My church had their women’s retreat recently.  It’s always a relaxing weekend to reconnect with God.  I wanted desperately to hear from Him… something…. anything…. He answered!

There was a little prayer room with a dozen or so little stations with questions or ideas to think about and pray on.  Before I went in I prayed “God, can You talk to me in here?  Just let me know something.”  I was not asking for a big life changing moment, just wanted a little tidbit.  As you walk around to each station, you can see and hear women breaking down in tears around the room.  I had nothing.  Not a single glistening tear.  I kept at it.  Praying earnestly at each area.

Then it happened!  I don’t even remember what the prompt was that brought it on, it wasn’t a life altering-break down in tears-type thing, but the Lord brought me new peace.

I have been struggling a lot (and I mean a lot) with jealousy and envy towards other people: specifically with pregnancy and children.  Something I so desperately want and I have noticed that this brings out some not-so-pretty things in me.   Just then, in that little room, He spoke to me: to help heal this inside me.

God put a new prayer on my heart: “Lord, make my heart so full of Jesus that there’s no room for envy.”

Aaahhhhhhhh

I told you.  No life altering words.  No burning bush vision.  Just a few new words to call out to Him when I am feeling this emotion.

I had been praying for things to happen, and prayers of thankfulness for our blessings… but apparently He just wants me praying for some more Jesus :)

I just want Jesus to be enough.

 

The Bible is full of warnings against envy:

“For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.” James 3:14

“Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind.” 1 Peter 2:1

“At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another.” Titus 3:3

“They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips”  Romans 1:29

“And He was saying, ‘That which proceeds out of the man, that is what defiles the man.  “For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed the evil thoughts, fornications, thefts, murders, adulteries, deeds of coveting and wickedness,as wellas deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride and foolishness. “All these evil things proceed from within and defile the man.’”  Mark 7:20-23

 

But God gives us the Holy Spirit to replace these evils.

 

“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.”  Isaiah 26:3

(There’s my word of the year: steadfast!)

“Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this”  Psalm 37:5

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding”  Proverbs 3:5

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you”  1 Peter 5:7

“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” Phil 4:7

“I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you” Psalm 119:11

 

Envy is just what I am really struggling with right now, but that can be replaced with whatever you are wrestling with… forgiveness, bitterness, anger, greed, idols…

What can Jesus replace in your heart?
Lord, “May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer”  Psalm 19:14

 

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